Clarity and Growth....

I know exactly where I am going....

I suppose I've known it all along really but haven't had the courage to say it until now.

I won't bore you with it again, you know what I'm up to and where I'm headed.

Silly as it may sound, I think about it every day; I live and breathe my call, it never leaves me, and it's on my mind every minute of every day. It's woven into the very fabric that is me.

He's clever is God. Very clever indeed. He waited and waited. He watched and waited and when He decided I was ready, he pounced.

They say if God wants you for something, He gets you in the end, no matter how much you fight against it.

And I haven't really fought against it.

I did. In the beginning. But not now.

So there's the clarity. I know where I'm going.

Growth? You wouldn't believe how much I've grown. Grown into my faith, grown into my learning, grown into my role of a church leader, grown into the acceptance of not, 'Who me?' but now 'Yes, He does mean me'. And I still have much more growing to do.

I had a very pleasant lunch with a new Curate last week. We compared our callings and our journeys and we laughed at how similar they were/are. We laughed loads actually, because we could have been one and the same person experiencing the same journey and call. That gave me real hope and confidence.

I'm due to go to BAP sometime early in the new year, only a few months away. And for the first time in the last 2 years of my journey of discernment, I actually feel that I might stand a good chance of being accepted to training (should I dare to say this just yet?) So everybody tells me anyway. I never thought I'd feel ready or even remotely confident.

I pray for the advisors at my BAP to be open to understanding God's will for me and all the candidates.