....waiting to begin training.
Since being accepted for ordination training in May, I wondered how I'd feel in the quiet 4 months between that and starting college in September.
I've been surprisingly frustrated, believe it or not!
When you consider that for the last 2 years, I've lived, slept, breathed, eaten and drank my vocation, speaking about it, reflecting on it, talking and writing about it and desperately trying to make sense of it so that I can convincingly articulate it to others, this 4 month lull is, for me, quite hard.
It's like a huge comedown from a euphoric high that lasted 2 years - a 4 month comedown. I don't know whether you can understand what I mean, but I hope you can.
In this time I've also done a lot of thinking and I'm still completely incredulous as to the fact that I am a future Rev. - silly really I guess! I reckon I'll start feeling like one when I begin my formational training.
I'm SO ready for that, I can hardly wait. I get random moments, when I'm right in the middle of something, of "Oh my goodness! I'm going to be a vicar!" and with that comes a huge surge of butterflies and I get all excited and incredulous again!
I think it's because of this feeling of disbelief, both that I have been called to the priesthood and in my own belief in myself and my abilities, that I really can't wait to begin my training, to embark on that essential personal and spiritual formation of the priestly person.
Maybe when I finally get to college, I will really start to believe it's happening to ME.
