....not such a bag of nerves this time.
Since my last post, I've been a very busy woman.
I've read John Pritchard's book and reviewed it. I've made inroads into my personal portfolio, building each criteria as I go along. I've interviewed clergy. I've begun my college course and I'm ready for my first assignment.
Someone wise once said, "It's only work if you're not enjoying it". They're completely right of course, if you don't enjoy going to work or doing work then it IS work. If you enjoy what you're doing it's so much easier.
And I HAVE really enjoyed this part of my journey; the beginning, I'd call it. The stepping ON the path. So now I'm walking. Walking on the path - baby steps but hey, I'm walking!
Now that all the hype has died down amongst my family and friends, I'm being asked how I'm doing, where I'm at and what's next. They're genuinely interested and I'm very thankful that they are.
So here's how I'm doing, here's where I'm at and here's what comes next.
I'm doing grand. My feeling of calling is slowly becoming clearer. Not crystal clear yet and I don't expect it to be, but clearer. I am becoming more and more sure that my skills as a communicator, carer and people person are behind this feeling of calling.
I was reluctant at first to say out loud that I was feeling called to ministry, especially as I wasn't really sure where my enquiries would take me, but now as I progress I am less reluctant to say this. As I speak to people, as they confirm the extent to which they see this calling in me and as I read (and read and read!) books all about priestly life and priestly qualities, it becomes a little more clear that there's every chance that this is the direction in which I'm headed. I couldn't be happier about that......
What comes next is more of the same for a while, although things ARE progressing. Now I have to concentrate on my college course, Mission and Ministry in the local church. I sat down to it recently and started working my way through the first section of the module. Before I knew it, 6 hours had passed, I had made my way to the end of the section and I was ready for my first assignment. I also enrolled today on the Journey in Faith or JiF course, starting in September. The course is over 30 weeks and will help me greatly towards finding the theological language I need and will give me ideal grounding in fundamental theological issues, thoughts and ideas.
I had my second meeting with Sue, the DDO today and it went well. I brought all my work to date with me, my college course folder and all the books I'm currently required to read as part of the course. She was a little surprised at how much work I had actually done, but as I said earlier, I'm enjoying it.
It's opening something up within me, helping me to realise my own faith, how to explain my faith, I'm understanding more of the church itself, and it's also helping me come to terms with the fact that since the day I said, "Yes" to God's call, my life and that of my family will never be the same again.
This poem is taken from the book I'm currently reading, "Being a priest today" by Cocksworth & Brown. It's immensely comforting because I am someone who has left security behind and said, "Yes".
Go at the call of God
the call to follow on,
to leave security behind
and go where Christ has gone.
Go in the name of God,
the name of Christ you bear;
take up the cross, its victims love
with all the world to share.
Go in the love of God,
explore its depth and height.
Held fast by love that cares, that heals,
in love walk in the light.
Go in the strength of God,
in weakness prove God true.
The strength that dares to love and serve
God will pour out on you.
Go with the saints of God,
our common life upbuild,
that daily as we walk God's way
we may with love be filled.
O God, to you we come
your love alone to know,
your name to own, your strength to prove,
and at your call to go.
